Everything's tender and nothing hurts


I wont blame anyone to not be brave enough to read everything. Ive never been good at summarizing and some people asked me for the full story so, here it is!
It all started two weeks ago, when I was randomly looking on internet for some news about Welcome to the Punch, the movie I knew James McAvoy was currently shooting in London. I saw a tweet saying that XXX -youll understand, I hope, why I wont put the location on Tumblr- could be one of the filming set. I found what and where XXX was and kept it in a corner of my mind.

Then, Sunday, sent home early by my manager with nothing planned for a couple of hours, I decided to go and have a look over there. Its in London zone 1, really close to where I was. I found the place really easily and the first guy I talked to confirmed me a movie set was taking place in the premises. He sent me to a door on the side of the building where a security guy could tell me more about it. That guy wasnt the nicest guy ever but told me what I needed: the WTTP crew would be shooting there Monday and Tuesday -my days off, oh dear luck, I love you-. But he couldnt tell me if James would be there, pretending -I mean, I hope he was pretending- he had no idea who he was. So I spent the evening praying all my Gods and asking the whole World to cross their fingers for me, for James to be working. It would have been so so so stupid to be so lucky at finding a place if it ended up being useless.

On Monday, my birthday, I woke up with one thousand butterflies in my stomach but I didnt change my mind. I wanted to go. I thought it could be good to be there for lunch time as they might have a break -and I was damn clever- so I took the tube and arrived around 11:30am. I went straight away to the door on the side in front of which almost twenty people were standing. First I thought they were fans but when I came closer, I realized they were all wearing red wristbands. They were extras, and part of the technical crew, having a coffee/cigarette break. There was a table next to the door with a coffee machine, bottles of water and some biscuits. I was waiting on the side, didnt really know what to do, when a security guy -lets call him Lenny from now- came to me with a huge smile and a wristband Are you with us love? Youre one of the extras right?. Im quite cheeky but I couldnt dare saying yes, even if I was tempted. They would have kicked me out of the area as soon as they would have realized I was lying. So I told the truth, that I was just expecting to see James McAvoy, with the cutest voice I could use. Lenny smiled and asked me how I found out about the place. Then he told me James was inside. And when I asked Are you sure? et answered Oh yeaaah, Im sure! *big smile*. And here came the storm inside of me. 95% happiness, 5% fear. Or 5% happiness, 95% fear. Didnt know, couldnt know, but that was quite disturbing. And it got worse when a lady came to me Of course you can wait for him over here, as long as youre not in the middle of the way. Hes gonna come out at one point. He was there 15min ago, smoking a cigarette so Youll see, hes lovely!. Well, well, well Okay. Thank you. Lets get ready to die then.

The break was over so everybody went back inside except for Lenny and Joe, another security guy. I spent the next hour chatting with them and I still cant believe how amazing they were. They were offering me coffee and water, telling me to come under a kind of tent when it was raining, letting me use the toilets inside and asking me about my life and my love for James. They were awesome! I think they were quite happy to have someone to entertain them for once !

Then Lenny told me James was about to leave for his lunch break, he showed me the car he would go in, parked 10 meters away, and told me to wait between the door and the car so Youll be sure to catch him! Well If the guy in charge of the security said I could And then, started the longest 40 minutes of my life. Every time someone was coming out, my heart was stopping for a second. And the sky didnt know what it wanted, between sun and rain and I was sure the rain would ruin all my chances for James to stop so I was looking at the clouds with a lot of threats in my eyes, and I was tweeting my friends, and trying to breathe, and, to be honest, getting completely crazy. The sun finally decided to stay for a while and suddenly, all the extras and technicians came outside screaming Lunch break!! with happy faces and started to leave in buses and cars. But I had the feeling they were people everywhere around me, and I was freaking scared. And then came from inside a guy Im gonna call the Poodle -coz I hate poodles-, I think he was in charge of James well-being, I dont know exactly but he was annoying. He gave me a weird look and then told the car driver to bring the car right in front of the door so there were like only two meters between the door and the car now- and in my head I was like FUCK YOU POODLE!!!!!. I stayed where I was, next to the car, next to the door, terrified. And then Lenny, who was checking the inside, suddenly turned to look at me, gave me a nod meaning Be ready love! and then

His laugh. I heard his laugh coming from the inside before even seeing him. An open and happy laugh, which basically started World War III in my whole body. And then, his face with the most childish expression ever. And he was still laughing and kind of fighting with the guy walking next to him. I dont know exactly what they were doing, like messing around together, and because of that, they didnt see the two steps in front of them and James almost fell and when his two feet were finally safe on the ground he laughed again, and I realized I was already dead. He was wearing a white shirt with black trousers, and under the sun, his beard was freaking ginger and his eyes were freaking blue and yeah. I was freaking dead.

And Poodle was calling him, holding the cars door for him, and James was on the point to enter in so I moved forward and called Excuse me! James! and he spun around, still smiling like Whos calling meeeeeeee? and stood in front of me, put his eyes into mine and Yes?. RIP Hélène. And with the worst French accent ever, and the voice shaking like crazy I started something like Im really sorry to bother you, I dont wanna disturb you but Id really like to talk to you, but if youre and I think I lost him after only three words because he shook his head and Sorry, what? and gosh, his what was so Scottish I just oriuezsqplokiujreklslqkjh. So I took a deep breath and went again Id like to talk to you and he did a kind of Awwww which sounded so much like what he does in the beginning of XMFC when Moira tells him she was at his presentation that I was all poriuezaoerhejks again. But I went on I dont want to disturb you so if youre on a hurry I can wait for you to come back. Because I so so so dont wanna be annoying. And he said Well Im supposed to go on lunch with a guy and *looking around him* Where did he go? Oh shit, hes already in the car so I have to go, dont wanna keep him waiting! *sad face* Im sorry And me I can wait and him Well great! So then Ill stop and talk with you when Ill come back from my lunch okay? Okay Thank you and then he grabbed my wrist and WHY ON EARTH DID YOU DO THAT JAMES?????? And said See you later then! with a huge smile and he went into the car and the car left with my heart, my mind and my legs.

I stood there, totally brain-freezing, until Lenny came, smiling, to tell me I could go for a lunch as well as I had one hour to wait. But I didnt want to go away, didnt want to risk missing him, so I went to seat on the grass area in front of the building. I called my amazing friends and sister, they were all over-excited for me, and started to answer my birthday messages. And in my head I was like Okay Youve seen him already, hes nice and human, hes like any other guy, so youre gonna keep calm and focused, and youre gonna manage to communicate with him in a proper way otherwise Ill kill you!!!. Of course I didnt believe in the like any other guy part but I was trying to convince myself. Lenny and Joe spent 20 minutes trying to feed me and share their lunch boxes. They didnt want to understand I wasnt able to eat anything. Smocking one hundred cigarettes was way easier. And then, well, I got bored. It had to happen at some point. I came to seat against the building wall to be closer to the action but I couldnt really focuse anymore. Dont know why. I was day-dreaming about what just happened to me, and refreshing Twitter every 10 seconds wishing for something entertaining to happen. So when all the extras and the crew came back it didnt alarm me, I mean, not as much as it should have. Everyone entered the building and it was just Lenny, Joe and me, once again, and I went back to my phone.

I felt the car passing slowly but the time for me to realize it was James car, it was already park in front of the door, which was 5 meters away from me. I stood as quickly as possible, took my bag, but James was already outside -wearing a new dark shirt- and Poodle was there, pressing him Come on James, theyre waiting for you upstairs!. And then James, I mean Sir James McAvoy, Master of all the Universes, James, James, James answered Well, Im sorry but Ive got to stop over there first! pointing at me with a smile and sending my soul far away from my body. Like, are you real James? *hyperventilating*

He moved toward me and said Hey dear, Im sorry youve been waiting!! and I whispered something like No problem Dont worry and he held out ones hand, smiling Hi! Im James!. Really? I smiled as well because I found him way too cute to still be scared, shook hands with him and answered Im Hélène, nice to meet you! He asked Where are you from Hélène? and I swear, never before my name had sounded so hot. I told him I was from France which he found great then I added I was living in London which he found also great. He was so responsive, and such in a good mood, I still cant believe it!!!! Not that I was expecting him to be listless but I dont know From the beginning until the end I had the feeling he was happy to talk to me and Well, that was perfect. Anyway He lit a cigarette, had a puff and blew the smoke out and Excuse me but Excuse me while I I mean How can someone be so sexy at doing something? It took me 10 seconds to realize I was staring at him, probably with a pathetic blissful face so I gave myself a mental punch and decided to say something I found out you would be filming there today and I thought it could be nice to come and say hi He answered You did well! and then he explained I think were here for a couple of days but Im not sure. I never know anything actually Every morning I find out my daily programme! and he started to laugh again. And he said But thats a cool place! I like it! then he looked at the sky And the weather is amazing, thats a great day! but he was like sooo enthusiastic and happy about everything, I was biting my cheek not to laugh. I could picture some Disney birds flying and singing around him! I retorted that it was raining one hour before who said that talking about the weather was boring?- and he smiled Thats London Crazy weather! Then I started to tell him how much I admire his acting skills and he was like Awww thank you! Thats really sweet love! No, youre the sweet one James. Then I told him we actually already meet before and he asked Really? Under which circumstances? so I answered You came in the restaurant Im working in, in Central London. He smiled Which one? Le Pain Quotidien, in Soho. And he was like Oh yeah! I love it! Ive been there a couple of times! and in my head I was thinking You should come every morning of every day of every week and I would give you everything for free and I would even seat next to you to put the food inside your mouth and but I said I couldnt really talk to you as I was on duty and my manager was watching me, it was kind of and he finished Awkward! and I smiled Yeah, exactly. Today is better! And then, Poodle, who had been calling him already three times while we were talking, started to lose patience Okay James, now you really need to go upstairs, everyone is ready except for you! And James looked at him and asked Oh Do I need to go now then? and I just wanted to hug him for upsetting Poodle a bit more Yeah! Now! So James threw his cigarette away and turned to look at me with a Im-about-to-apologize-coz-I-need-to-leave face, but before he could say anything, I asked Do you mind if we take a picture? and he said Of course! I dont mind at all! so he came close to me and I raised my arm to take the picture myself coz Im quite used to do that but then, he suddenly grabbed my camera and called out to a technician guy who was walking to the door Hey dude! Take the picture for us! and oh my god, he was so masterful I was poiureziapoieuryhejkzlsq. James came even closer and I stopped breathing. The guy took the pic, gave me my camera back and James put his hand on my arm and once again WHY OH WHY JAMES??? And he said Im sorry I need to go Thank you so much for waiting! and I answered Thank you so much for stopping! Really Thank you It means the World to me! Thank you! and he was smiling Dont worry! Youre so welcome! and he started to move back and said That was nice to meet you Again, then! and I answered Yeah! Thank you so much! Then he turned over, and I noticed how skin-tight were his trousers and I gave myself another mental punch, and he made a few steps to the door and turned to look at me again and started to wave like a kid would do and with a big smile Byyyyyyyyyye! James McAvoy, 10 years old. And then he disappeared inside the building.

And I stayed there, staring at the door, staring at my feelings, staring at one question Am I gonna wake up soon or did that really just happened for real?. And Lenny, Joe and the lady from the morning came at me like So, so, so? Tell us!!! and gosh, I found them all so cute!! But I couldnt be totally fangirling in front of them and I really really needed to get crazy so I moved a bit away from them and I called my friends and my sister again to let everything out. But as soon as I was a bit empty from all my feelings, I came back to Joe and Lenny to say goodbye and to thank them for everything they had done for me. Then I left the area, went into the shopping center, locked myself into the toilets and looked at the picture for the first time and Oooh Welcome tears of happiness along my cheeks. I went out, called two other friends, and then I took the tube to go and celebrate the second part of my birthday.

And well Here I am Two days later, still in shock, still highly emotional about it, but more than anything, happy and grateful. Theres no better feeling than the joy you feel when you realize a person youve been worshiping totally deserve it. James exceeded all my expectations and my only wish about him now is to be able to meet him again soon, not that I want always more, but he needs to give me my heart back.

Id like to thank Manon, Alicia, Cla, Giu, Julie, Domi, Vanessa and my mum for their support and their love during one of the most amazing moment of my life.

Now Im gonna go and stare at my picture, again, wishing I could spread James McAvoy all over the universe.

: youmaynotrememberme.tumblr.com/post/8747527059/...


2011-08-11 22:59 

Darts of Pleasure [DELETED user]
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2011-08-11 23:23 

, , ))))))))))))

2011-08-11 23:51 

Darts of Pleasure [DELETED user]

2011-08-12 01:00 

"Nobody dies virgin, cause life fucks everyone"
, , ! :white: , , , . , :gigi:

2011-08-12 01:34 

... So?! I'm half bisexual!! ()
Awwwwwww ;_______;
- .__.

2011-08-12 04:10 

Claire Hill
Even the stars look brighter tonight | Nothing's impossible
, , ?????

2011-08-12 22:16 

, . )))


Everything's McFassy and nothing hurts.